To everyone wondering about me:

As it currently stands, I have been forced to leave the doom community, as well
as most of my social media. I have lost contact with many of the people I used
to interact with on a daily basis. I've been spending many days in isolation,
in the dark about what is happening on the other side, and over time, as things
evolved, I have felt that my mental and physical health have been progressively
deteriorating due to it all.

This is not a proper statement regarding the initial allegations against me, as
that will come later once I am prepared to show myself in public again. This is
merely an update on how I am feeling and what I am doing about it.

What has happened recently has made me realize that I have deep-seated problems
regarding my behavior online, both through my direct interactions with others
and through how I present myself and my work. This is something that has been
happening for almost all of my life, and comes as a consequence of the way I
have developed mentally and emotionally through my experiences on the internet.
It is a serious problem that I need to fix, and I genuinely need help
addressing and correcting it.

I hope that people to not take everything said about me at face value, as there
is far more to the situation at hand, and there are bad actors involved. Being
shunned, condemned, insulted, isolated, that is all that the people attacking
me want. They want to silence me and anyone who tries to support me. Their
ultimate goal is to cause harm, and nothing else.

Still, I deny the accusations against me of pedophilia and grooming. Despite my
own problematic behavior that I have been made fully aware of and have come to
terms with, these are things that I could not possibly ever do. No matter how
much all is distorted, no matter how hard they try to make me doubt myself and
my own memory, I know deep down that I simply couldn't do something like that.

It is true that I have a problem with boundaries, it is true that I have a
problem with oversharing, and with not realizing what is and isn't appropriate,
and that is something I have already taken the initiative to solve. While I may
not have done anything illegal, I've done things that are undoubtedly immoral.
I am truly sorry, for all the things I have done, all the people I have
inconvenienced, all the people I have made uncomfortable, and who had to see
that side of myself without wanting to. I am especially sorry for betraying the
trust that many people had put in me. What I have done is entirely
irresponsible from my part, and I am more than deserving of punishment.

There are people I am still in contact with who have been supportive and I am
immensely grateful to them, they've served as a little sliver of hope in the
darkness of my mind, something calming, and reassuring. Without any of this,
the complete isolation I would have suffered would have been unbearable.

When the time is right, when the storm has passed, I only hope that I can be
given the chance to speak, and to let myself be judged fairly.

 --- Marisa